Sunny Side Up!

My Mama said a few weeks ago when I deigned to complain about how much rain had been falling lately – wet season and all – she said to me; “Rain is liquid sunshine”.

Beautiful words. I have held on to that since…and I’m never letting go.

Mind my manners. I just felt like if I hadn’t typed that first, this post would be all wrong. SO! Pleasantries next…

Oh hey!

It’s been a minute, hasn’t it? And yes, I missed you like…! (say what?!)

Anywho, I’ll save us the stress of explaining just how much I missed y’all and jump right in. I apologise that it took me getting robbed in broad daylight to come drop a post here. But hey, every experience; a lesson learnt, right? And I absolutely have to share this with you, just because it was my moment of epiphany…I won’t outright tell you what the lesson is in this one, so, I’m hoping you’ll catch it.

*rushes into the closet and returns, fully garbed in ‘storytelling’ tunic*

Hey Ho!

Yes, Shubby got robbed.

I know right, tragic stuff. Alright, I’ll just take a few questions real quick before I proceed:

Yes, I’m fine, thanks for asking…no broken nails, my eyebrows didn’t even suffer a single smudge.

What got stolen? Nothing so precious it can’t be recovered over time…mostly. The poor dude will never steal from another lady again after he discovers how many lip glosses and pens I carry around.

No, it wasn’t robbery at gunpoint (same difference); his only weapon was his quick hands…

Yes, I do feel quite traumatized and shaken up…

Yes, in hindsight, I regret not putting my Taekwondo skills to use on the pilfering fellow…

Yes, drama queen that I am, I got a bit dramatic as soon as I realised that I’d just been relieved of my purse in the middle of Ikeja with not a single dime on my person (heck, I even shed a few tears…not ‘weakling’ tears, mind you; they were ‘stunned’ tears).

Anywho, my golden friends came to my rescue after I placed a call and they were able to make me laugh, put aside my worries…and they helped me see the bright side in all the mess. I mean, when I was able to channel my positivity after a while, I realised that it wasn’t traumatizing at all. The guy could have knifed me while getting away or done other stuff, but Hallelujah, he didn’t.

So yes, again! I’ve got my sunny glasses on. I can’t see gloom through these lenses. All I see is brightness! GOD’s love!

And it’s funny ’cause I slept that night feeling like the most loved gal in the whole universe. Like, how could GOD love me so much?

the-bright-side1

You probably won’t be able to relate, but recently, I’ve been stuck in a place in my life where I have had to chant the mantra ‘Life is in phases, this too shall pass’ too often. I just felt like too many things were not making sense, and I was constantly forcing myself to see the better side of life. I was forcing my positivity and GOD didn’t want that for me.

No, GOD didn’t send that thief, but HE did help me in that situation. I’m sorry if I’m rambling but, following that episode, I felt big warm arms wrap me in a tight hug. The sort that your dad might give you I guess; except, this Dad has never disappointed me in any way. Even when it looks like a letdown, I get an epiphany and I see how GOD was actually working all those bad events into HIS perfect plan for my life. HE helps me highlight the message in every mess! Heck, HE loves me more than I love myself.

Naturally, I had questions; “Why me, Lord? I pay my tithes…yada yada yada… I’m not so thrilled with you right now, GOD…*trash* *crap*”.

Then I realised about two things at once; Life will appear to you as you view it. That’s why one sees rain while another sees the prelude to the sunshine. Also, I realised that; Ultimately, everything in life – and life itself – is temporary. Those things that mattered so much to me at the time won’t hold a single meaning to me by the end of this year. True. So why waste valuable time bemoaning the loss of my property when they are only material stuff? Not inferring I want a repeat of that episode though…but…

When I started channeling my positivity like that, my spirit became lifted; my steps felt lighter. Honestly, I think I felt myself levitate…literally.

And then, in a weird turn of events that I won’t ever be able to explain to you, GOD’s love for me suddenly became sooo magnified to me, I couldn’t stop singing. GOD loves me. Me!

I’ve got my grateful hat on and it’s never coming off!

lol.jpg

Until our next post…try as much as possible to watch this space. I agree it’s not the most active space, but it does try, yea?

Meanwhile, Stay ‘Sunny Side Up’! Stay Bright!

Thanks for reading!

flower-bottom-art

The Colour of Spring…

You smiled at me today

and triggered a thousand reactions all at once,butterfly

in my heretofore low frame

It is clear to me,

You do not know the effect of your smile on me.

Let me tell you what happens;

how your smile my life shapens,

when your lips stretch wide and turn upwards at the ends.

The hollowness in my heart, it mends,

Transforms it to a well of hope,

I do not see rainbows – Nope.

flower3But I see beauty

unadulterated; and, quickly

Happiness, around my heart forms a ring,

my feet, once dragging on the floor, enjoy a peppy spring;

(True, your smile has gone beyond a mile)

– a slave to your guileless smile

helpless to the effect of that beauteous beam,

Now my gloom can best be called a dream.

Now I know the Colour of Beauty.

I do not smile back at you,tulip

I know in my heart though

something has shifted;

Free, my spirit is lifted.

My view of the world has changed

my heart, no longer caged.

This feeling trumps it all;

swallows the pall.

I feel more certain than ever,

You, I’ll forever remember.

Now, I know the Colour of Liberty.

I am more visible;

And it’s incredible

smiley-1how your smile strengthens me

And though you don’t know it to be

but your smile lights up my once dreary world

Your smile my troubles hurled.

Where I was low, your smile lifts me up

Now I know the Colour of the Sky.

My gloomy day, it brightens it up

Your smile is magic

Defying all logicsmile

your smile – it is life

I no longer have need of the knife

Your smile is beauty

where I’d known cruelty

Your smile is hope,

On my way I was, with my rope

Treading the dark path to end my life,

Could not deal with the strife,

Now I know the Colour of Life.

Now, I look forward to the next hour.

Your smile holds power;

Strong enough to lift me highimagesUp, up beyond the sky

Your smile is a gateway;

Finally, a leeway!

I see through and I realize with a profound ring,

Finally, I’ve discovered the Colour of Spring.

flower-bottom-art

Chill; Be Still; Give Thanks (Not a Christmas Post)

It’s been a crazy November/December.

For me, that is…Can’t speak for anyone else. I won’t bore you with details but November and December have been months where yours truly’s patience and mettle was truly tried.

And the dollar-naira rate thing is not even helping to make things any better. Like, when was the last time I actually opened my purse, took out a twenty naira note and made a complete transaction with it? When?

When I remember, I’ll tell you.

Meantime, I’ll just quickly run you through the year in a nutshell…in no certain order, mind you:

  • Dollar rate escalated like crazy while we were still on our knees, praying for the Buhari tenure to smoothen out.
  • Petrol decided to rank right up there with the precious material called GOLD.
  • Before our dazed eyes, fifty naira quickly replaced five naira…worth-wise.
  • Gala became 100 naira…(I found it interesting that many Nigerians were more burnt about this phenomenon than about the fuel price hike)
  • The Apple fellas dropped the iPhone 7 like its hot…and my wonderful Naijarians kuku bought…I think some even pre-ordered while the thing was still in the oven, abi? (I’m not hatin’. By the grace of Baba GOD, we will all shine – *sniffs*)
  • Boko Haram continued their mad rampage…this time, almost tripling the number of casualties nationwide (May the gentle souls of the departed rest in peace)
  • Nigerians remain on their knees, praying for respite from the hard times
  • Meanwhile, like play like play, Trump became the U.S. President, practically breaking the global internet and sending every folk into a panicked frenzy. Some Nigerian-based Nigerians suddenly started acting like Trump packing his luggage into the White House equates doomsday for them (And I’m like, ‘Chill folks,’ I mean the guy is just ONE human being…)
  • I’m alive, well and strong…and so are you (I mean, you’re reading my blog so…)

Had to chip in that last part real quick so we don’t lose focus…

And the importance of not losing focus despite all the goings on around us cannot just be overrated.

Thanksgiving.

I want to complain my whole day away countless times…then one crucial need that has now been met by God suddenly comes to mind and I think… ‘OK, so GOD is still in the business of serving you with jaw-dropping, earth-shaking miracles; babe, just chill.’

There’s so much chaos going on around. But at the end of the day, we have to keep ourselves locked up tight so that none of this furore rumbling outside and shaking us around doesn’t manage to seep in and unsettle us – Subulola

The best way to do that? Chill. Keep still.

Meditate.

Take some time in between the stress and hassles of work/family/school…enjoy a moment of solitude and quiet; think about GOD’s strength in the face of your many troubles. Let HIS peace filter into you and cleanse away the dirt caused by doubt and pain.

picture4

Channel your joie de vivre and live la vida in a ‘gracias!’ manner! (I have a very strong feeling that that makes no sense to you…or maybe it does).

Because I keep thinking; right in the midst of the dollar rising so high and the exchange rate acting loco, there are folks who stay steadily erecting buildings high enough to shame the Tower of Babel. I will possess my possessions too but I don’t want to have deep lines engraved into my forehead at age thirty because I worried myself sick all the way to that point.

At this time, for me, it’s not about the amount of stress or hours I put into work. It’s about GOD’s grace. And I’m thankful for grace too. Cause every time, that is the only factor that qualifies me.

So, while we are celebrating the beautiful birth of JESUS CHRIST and breaking our piggy banks, I think it’s also important to remember to LIVE THANKFULLY.

GOD loves a ‘Thankful Live-r’!

–> END <–

A/N – Believe me, when I opened up my computer to write, my intention was to compose a wonderful, tear-jerking article about the beauty of Christmas. Then Lo! This thanksgiving post reeled out. I don’t know who for, but it did. I can only hope that it is speaking to YOU.

HOWEVER, If you absolutely want to read something Christmas-ey to put yourself in the mood or for enjoyment’s sake; follow me down memory lane to my last year Christmas post.

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR BBM CHANNEL: C002C66AB 

WE BLOG THE TRUTH!

Planks – Discipline and Habits

Yo! Where are my ‘fit fam’ folks in the house?! How about you do twenty straight push-ups in acknowledgement!

So my arms had developed a case of the ‘jiggles’. What some Nigerian folks would fondly refer to as the ‘Christian Mother arms’ syndrome. Yea, this issue of mine probably doesn’t rate up there with the problem of World Peace and Hunger, but then HEY!

I didn’t like it.

I mean, I’m but a young lady in her twenties; I love being fit…although I think food is bae 😛

A dear heart told me one day while I was busy waving my arms about excitedly, gesturing wildly; “When last did you do your plank exercises?”, and I just knew. I think my feeling that day can best be compared to the feeling a child might get when they’ve been caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

Here’s why. For me, it’s more than just an exercise, Planking, I mean. It’s how I teach myself the fine art of being disciplined enough to start a beneficial health routine, and see myself through it. The same way I train myself to munch through a tasteless whole cucumber even though the aromatic smell of Sunday Jollof is wafting in through the kitchen door.

But what can a lady do?

So when my attention was called to this disproportionate body situation of mine, **Clears throat** Johnny Bravo *Clears throat** I admitted to myself that I’d been slacking off on the job. It was time to get back on the ground and get my plank on!

The plank is one of the best exercises you can do for your core because it builds isometric strength to help sculpt your waistline and improve your posture.”

http://www.health.com › Fitness

You know, you never actually know how long a minute is until you get on your elbows/hands and toes, striking the legendary plank pose…and I’m not addressing folks who can literally go ten minutes straight without their arms (and heck, every part of their body) quaking badly. They came out of their mommys’ tummies striking the plank pose so; all well and good.

plank-for-abs-400x400

Dang, planks are the worst…and the best in their effects 😀

I initially told myself I could get my slimmer arms back without needing to plank. That would mean Portion control, drinking gallons of water and not eating late at night…amongst other stuff. Haha. I remember someone asking me once for advice on how she could get a flat tummy. I told her to lock up her fridge and food pantry once 8pm rolls around. Her reply? “Don’t you know that Eba eaten at 12 midnight tastes the sweetest?”

I just gave up on her right there and then.

OK! So I’ve strayed from the topic.

I’ll tell you a fun fact about Plank exercises. Health Fitness gurus advice that on the First day of Planking, you shouldn’t push yourself too hard. 30 seconds is OK. And trust me, 30-seconds plank-time equals 10-hours weekend-time (if you get my drift).

Second day of planking however, Fitness gurus say; ‘Take it several seconds further…say, an additional 10-20 seconds. If you’re feeling brave, a whole minute’. Lol. If I am allowed to brag, I’ll tell you that I achieved a full minute on my second ever plank day. And I’ve got six-pack abs. I promise you, you can see them if you look closely with a magnifying glass 😛

Anywho, third Planking day, you should push yourself further…if your lungs can stand it. But if they can’t, you may maintain the same forty-fifty second plank time. Our gurus say it’s alright. While you need to learn to push yourself, you should know and respect your breaking point, and give your body time to adapt to your new routine.

So yea, I did that. Maintained one minute up until I knew I was ready to push myself further. Following the gurus’ advice, I went ahead, grit my teeth and did 80 seconds straight-up. When I got up, all sweaty and panting, I actually expected someone to walk up to me and offer me a gold medal.

I see Life as being pretty much like anyone’s Plank Routine.

You pick up habits along the way. You decide for yourself that some of those habits need to go and you decide to make some into a lifestyle. Sort of like how I have made writing a lifestyle…

But discipline is needed. Without it, you couldn’t maintain those fine habits. They’d last for one day and poof, Gone with the Wind. So, consciously, you push yourself.

Analogy here: Normally, you wouldn’t look twice at a book but then, you decide to develop the habit of reading because the elders say that knowledge is power. So you painstakingly buy a book. First day, you read two pages. Next day, discipline tells you to push harder so you do an amazing-award-winning total of six pages. Hallelujah, progress is progress. It’s funny, ’cause many folks I know can actually relate to this. 

*aside* Worry not, I shan’t mention yer name.

But by the third day, a sudden thought enters into your head and your calculative brain gets into gear. “This book has got a total of two hundred and fifty pages. If I keep up this snail-pace (you finally admit to yourself that you aren’t Wole Soyinka), of two/three pages per day, I won’t complete this book until (250/2 = 125) 125 days from today…and I must consider the days when other ‘funner’ things than reading will call for my attention.”

So you call yourself to order. Because you bought this book despite the economic recession, so you must eat it up cover to cover. Heck, if you could do that literally, you would!

So the number of pages that you read doubles and triples as you go and you decide, “Heck, the book’s not all bad.” A few pages even made you giggle.

And guess who’s the smarter for it?

So it is with Planks. The pain and quaking bones nearly have me caving in. The next day, seconds before I go planking, there’s a moment of trepidation as I remember the weariness, but I know the end goal. Lose the flabs. And suddenly, the pain doesn’t matter so much.

I’ll admit, on my plank journey, I’ve been discouraged. I’ve been tired. Heck, I downright skip days sometimes like, “I can’t come and go and die. I never even chop better food sef

But discipline helps me ensure that when I get back to it, I make up for negligence/laziness.

I don’t have a six-pack set yet. Heaven knows I’m not even gunning for that (Food is still bae). Though if it decides to show up someday, I won’t mind. Lol. But just as I mentioned earlier, in as much as I would like to get rid of the flabs, it’s not all about the flabs. There is the place of me learning the balance between discipline and self-indulgence. And I’m learning.

Every single time that I get my plank on, I learn something new about pushing myself just that little bit more; acknowledging that my body is actually capable of a lot more than I give it credit for. However, I should also pay attention to my body telling me when to rest; take it easy – and pause to make allowance for rose-smelling moments – taking care not to make it all about being fit and firm.

* What are those areas of your life where you wish you could form a habit that’ll erase the old, unattractive one(s)?

** How can you ‘Plank’ your way into your new habit(s)?

*** What sacrifices would have to be made?

You don’t have to put your replies in the comments section – though it would be nice if you did, you can remain anonymous if you so wish. You could just write it somewhere and keep yourself reminded of your new goal(s).

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR BBM CHANNEL: C002C66AB 

WE BLOG THE TRUTH!

GO GET YOUR FLIPPERS!

Hi guys.

Pardon my ill-timed post, I mean, who writes blog posts on Tuesday afternoons? Probably a million others. Subulola, you’re not as weird as you like to think *eyeroll at self*

Ah, with the way the economy is set up right now, I rarely have time to do much else but wake up, go to work, eat and sleep. So whenever I get less busy at times like this, I go keyboard-punching! I mean, I have to occasionally remind myself of the need to socialise. And same goes for most of my fellow citizens – putting in extra hours has become everyone’s new norm. Go hard, or go home!

Speaking of ‘extra hours’ and hard work; I am reminded of how the dollar to naira exchange rate is suddenly shaking Nigerians out of their slumber; making everyone go about on a quest to discover their unique, yet-undiscovered skill-sets; make-up artists, shoe-makers, fashion designers etc. The struggle is real!

Everyone is – so to say – on a discovery quest to figure out what their specific ‘flippers’ are. Good call, wouldn’t you say? Less import; more raw material-based productivity; better economy.

Hurray?

So I ask you – WHAT ARE YOUR FLIPPERS? What’s your USP? (That’s an acronym for unique selling point, by the way 🙂 )

IMG_20160726_132311

Referencing the above picture, another word for ‘Paddle’ would be ‘Hustle’.

Let your hustle feed your outward grace.
Yea, we know that in GOD’s grand scheme of GRACE and DIVINE FAVOUR, the hustle is not directly proportional to success but then, laziness has not been known to feed nations, has it? Although, I’ve seen men toil endlessly for years and yield only a paltry sum while some silver-spooned folks couldn’t spell the word ‘hustle’ or ‘toil’ if you held a gun to their head!

No fine work can be done without concentration and self-sacrifice and toil and doubt.

 – Max Beerbohm

Nevertheless, the grind remains key, and then, you can pray for the odds to work in your favour. No one ever became an Extra-Ordinary without making some efforts to go beyond the ordinary.
Quit hating on ‘made’ folks. You have no idea how many countless hours they spent bent over their little plant, diligently watering it ’til it became a nice big garden.
You want to be able to stand up tall and hold your head high knowing that you’re not looking good on someone else’s grind, living the ‘leech’ kind of life? The answer to that would be ‘Paddle’.

Though it sounds romantic and poetic to somehow accidentally stumble into success, the truth is, there is so much beauty in the toil.

                                                                                                            – Kelli Stuart

Ever seen a duck moving on the water? All we see of the duck is its effortless glide across the waters. We don’t see the countless muscles that are being strained to achieve that seamless flow/float.
The duck doesn’t scream at you ‘Hey! Quack Quack! Look at me! My flippers are working to keep me afloat!’ Rather, the duck holds its head high and does its work. Whatever else it is besides its flippers that keeps it afloat, we may not fully comprehend. But it sure is literally playing its part by paddling up a storm down below; not just sitting pretty expecting the waters to carry it straight to paradise. The day the duck decides to hand its fate to the water and quit paddling is the day it gets carried away by the water OR drowns.
So put your flippers to work.
Listen, the same GOD who gave the duck its flippers has given you something to grind with. Experiment as much as possible and discover what your flippers are. And when you do find it, grind until every trip to your bank makes you smile!

Prayer is key, but so is hard work.
Our prayer now is for GOD to smoothen processes for us so that we work less to earn more; and sweat less to shine more.

quote-the-highest-reward-for-a-person-s-toil-is-not-what-they-get-for-it-but-what-they-become-john-ruskin-25-47-98

Who Happiness ‘Hep’?

Hi there! (loony smile)

A short while back, I saw a movie where an extreme sports lover was going to practically commit suicide. He told his friends about it and before my bewildered eyes, his friends clapped him on the back and unanimously went, “Yea man, if that makes you happy!” and I’m just 6359224818047328841280674469_0pokreseated there like, “No dude, by the time you throw yourself off that tall cliff without a parachute  strapped on or a cushion waiting below, you’ll be D.E.A.D, not H.A.P.P.Y.! That’s like, the end!”

Alright, let me just backtrack here for a second. Your eyes are probably flitting about confusedly; wondering “What the heck is that post title all about? Which one is this again?” Can we just chalk it up to one of the many quirky ideas that stray into my brain – and move on with the real gist? Thanks :p

Who Happiness ‘Hep’ – aka – Who has benefited from happiness? Or How has Happiness Helped Anyone? (insert yours in comment section please. My grasp on English grammar seems to be weakening at the moment).

This post is – so to say – some typa way; quite sensitive, but I’d appreciate your patience as we read through together.

Have you ever heard people around say things like; “Oh, so you’re gonna do so and so? Are you sure that’s the right choice? Oh well, what do I know? Doesn’t matter; as long as you’re happy.”
And you know, we have over time, gotten so used to this cliché manner of replying to and accepting people’s weird choices. Choices which are, sometimes, obviously bad decisions (though we’d never admit in a thousand years that we think that their decisions are totally loco!).

For instance, a friend is worried that the little white lie she told (I don’t believe in ‘little white lies’ by the way; and please, it’s not a little white lie if it makes even the Devil cringe) her lover might end up causing a bad rift between them should he find out. And you, being Counsellor of the Year, go, “Hey, I really don’t get why you’re so worried though. It’s just a little white lie. And think about it, if he finds out the truth, would that help? Shouldn’t your number one priority be his happiness?” And she heaves a big sigh of relief – because, finally, you have just dished her a legit excuse not to tell boo the truth about feeling up some other dude.

Oh well…

Quick question here.

Are we really being 100% truthful when we say that we are prioritizing the other person’s happiness whenever we make important decisions?

Your twelve year-old kid (who still wets the bed occasionally and thinks veggies are man’s greatest enemy) comes home from school one day and decides he wants to pierce every open part of his skin. He also adds that he’d rather be with Steve than with Eve, and even though deep down in your heart, you think that the idea doesn’t rock, you smile and say, “Doesn’t matter boy, your choices are yours to make. All I care about is your happiness.”

How does that even make any sense?

So I ask again; are we really prioritizing the other person’s happiness whenever we make decisions as we claim to be doing?

You live on the mainland and your wife gets a job on the Island which promises to consume at least 80% of her time – weekends and pub. hols inclusive. This job means everything to her but at the same time, you know that it’ll affect your marriage: family-time and Friday night dinners without the kids will be drastically reduced, if not completely eliminated, but because you’re so scared of rocking the boat, you smile over gritted teeth and tell her, “Oh sweetie, I’m so happy for you. All I really want is for you to be happy.”

Abeg, tell me, Who happiness hep?bwos2

If that’s the kind of happiness people are dishing out now – the kind that’ll tell you that it’s okay to endure excruciating pain in silence so that you can protect the other person from temporary hurt feelings; the type that says that it’s OK to have to ‘branch’ the restaurant/suya spot every blessed night after close of work because your wife will be way too exhausted to set foot in the kitchen to make dinner whenever she gets home at night; the type that says you will have to endure the rest of your years looking at your pierced-to-within-an-inch-of-his-life pre-teen son make choices that he doesn’t fully comprehend even though you know you don’t like it; or the kind that tells you that it’s okay to deceive boo into believing that you’re Most Loyal Bae of the Year – then NO, I think that I will just take a rain-check on it. I want none of it.

Sacrifices are awesome. You don’t like piercings but if your son has to absolutely have one or two and you don’t think that it’ll cause Armageddon, then good, let him have it. Whatever helps peace reign. You don’t mind having suya and garri or microwaved pizza every night because wifey needs to rest? Great! I hereby crown you Husband of the Year. In fact, is there space for me in your house? 😀

However, if you know that accepting that crazy-as-hell choice – or making that decision and anchoring it on the other person’s unknowing neck and excusing it as the source of their happiness without feeling the need to let them know how you feel about it – is going to make you die a little inside with every day that passes, I think that might be you indulging yourself in a tiny dose of hypocrisy; excuse my French.

Most of the bitter folks we have hanging around with scowly faces once believed that they were doing the honourable by prioritising others’ happiness.

I think that sometimes, it is okay to rock the boat and let the other person know how you feel about the situation. Occasionally, we should deliberately put ourselves last even if it hurts, but not every time. Your happiness shouldn’t always come last. Because I’ll bet that the ugly feeling of dissatisfaction you’re feeling right now for holding all the hurt in must suck very much.

And no, I’m not advocating for selfishness. Sacrifices are awesome…if they’re given/made WILLINGLY and in earnestness.

I think that sometimes, it is okay to tell the truth; let the other person know what your take on the matter is, then together, you can work towards a solution that will make the two/all of you happy.

Why should I go with the option of making one person happy when the option of the two of us (or all of us) being completely and truly happy exists?! Some sacrifices that we make are really not needed! Maybe we can just admit to ourselves that it’s just cowardice…or the need to feel saintly.

I don’t know about you but do I have a ‘Hero Complex’?

HECK NO!

We needed only one Hero: Jesus Christ – and what a perfect work of it He did! – so pardon me if I choose to live free of worries and hurt. Listen, the truth is; at some point, when you get so used to thinking that the other person’s happiness matters more than yours, you’ll probably become a Saint, but you’ll be a bitter saint. And there is a high likelihood that you will start to build resentment in your heart towards the ones whose happiness you prioritise so much.

The result of that? A damaged relationship.

And then, in the end, tell me; Who happiness hep?

Happy-people-

 

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR BBM CHANNEL: C002C66AB 

WE BLOG THE TRUTH!

MAKEUP AND OTHER ‘EVILS’

WARNING: (Only for those who can take a good joke!)

lips-651339_960_720Some weeks ago, I was with a couple of male friends talking about general stuff. I had my cellphone in my hand, and I was scrolling through my Blackberry Messenger feeds when I came upon some pictures.

Pictures of pretty stunning ladies whose sheer beauty had the power to make you drool on your favorite shirt. Oh well, until you get jerked awake by the harsh reality that-

I showed my friends the picture, a smile on my face “Isn’t she pretty?!” I asked, knowing what their reaction would be but eager to hear it all the same.

They both shuddered involuntarily and hissed disinterestedly. “Come on, that’s way too much coating of makeup on one face.” They complained. “You can’t even hug her,makeup-311110_960_720 she’ll just stain your shirt” they went ahead, before launching into a lengthy session of how evil they thought makeup on ladies of nowadays was and how utterly deceptive it was.
“Why can’t you ladies just be natural? Or at least, apply just a little make up so that when you wash your face you won’t become a stranger to us!” one said, impassioned.

The other joked, “You mustn’t even think of surprising them and covering their eyes from behind, by the time you remove your hands, their fake lashes will have stuck onto your face-157452_960_720hands, plus eye-shadow too” Trust me, all the while, I was enjoying a good laugh.

I use makeup myself so I’m not here to cast aspersions on users of makeup. At least, it helps me to successfully cover the constant ‘Gucci eye bags’ that I carry around on some busy days. However, I don’t consider myself a war-paint carrier. Ladies, please, don’t take this the wrong way but if you ask me, I think some of us just lay it on too thick…literally, when it comes to the pigments.

Some wicked makeup artists even juxtapose Picture3before and after pictures of their models/clients and it mostly always has a jaw-dropping effect on us viewers. You must have noticed that the artists have a way of deliberately taking the ‘before’ shots in ways that won’t favour the model in order to give the ‘after’ pictures a contrasting wow! effect – placing the camera one inch away from their face with the camera’s flash on! How mean is that. Even Beyoncé would look like a sick person with bad allergic reactions if she had her pic taken that way.

What am I saying? If you must apply makeup, then by all means, go ahead. I believe in the religion of looking good and if you think the only way you can achieve that is by painting your face, then paint! But can we try not to at least do it to the extent where we become two different personalities before and after application? That’s just unfair to the male sex!

How would you feel if men wore fake-abs and arm-pads which could pass for biceps? Yea, you’d feel cheated on. You’d probably even start to question the authenticity of Mother Nature herself. (I’m not even going to get on the mega-issue of bum-pads, fake hips and outrageously padded bras).

Moving on…
I understand that some of us have flaws/imperfections that we feel the need to cover in order to shield ourselves from the judgmental eyes of others – e.g. pimples, acne, bleached skin and the likes – but if he’s gonna like you with the makeup on and hate you without it on, Picture7don’t you just think he’s not worth all the stress? I believe in the importance of feeling good in your own skin too. On the days when I don’t feel like applying makeup, others see the pimples and blackheads on my face and I make a joke about the groundnuts I’ve been eating and we all laugh about it. If you can’t stand looking at my face bare of makeup, you can like to look the other way, THANKS!

Becoming overly dependent on something that is not essentially a part of you doesn’t speak well of your self-esteem level and I believe that every lady needs to check such tendencies. I know of a few ladies that can’t step out of their gates until they are fully masked.

Surprise your colleagues, go to work wearing only white powder, lip gloss and a smile – and clothes too, of course!

Ha! I can see some giving me the stink eye/eye-roll already. I remain loyal to the ‘woman-race’. Forget that Subulola is the one saying this for a moment; it’s actually healthy to let nature’s breeze make direct contact with your bare facial skin every now and then. Like it or nah, as expensive as some of these fine products are, they are still chemicals, and therefore have some form of side-effect on our skins.Picture6

Anyways, on the other hand, GUYS! It’s not always about you. We don’t always use the makeup to look good for you. It should occur to you that sometimes, we do it for us too. It’s not always just ‘makeup’ to us. Sometimes, it’s ‘war-paint’ for that big presentation or a confidence-booster, or something or other. Don’t judge women based on their makeup. Sometimes, a badly-drawn eyebrow or a poorly-painted eye shadow is a mask for a truly beautiful character. Once I came across a young man that said he judges ladies by their eyebrows. I was so shocked but he was as serious as a heart attack.lips-311222_960_720

I mean, if I got judged by my eyebrows, I’d be a 1st-class criminal going to prison without any hope of parole! Do you get my drift?

So even though she’s been pan-caked to within an inch of her Urban Decay, if her teeth sparkle when she smiles or she has a really sweet nature that draws you in, then by all means, take off your judgmental jacket and ask her out on a date…and not on a swimming date, I plead with you! (Good heavens, the things I’ve heard guys say about makeup and the memes I’ve read!)

Because with the way things are going now ehn, girls are not smiling. Those members of my sex who used to be reserved with their makeup may have realised that prettily painted girls are getting all the fine, heavily-pocketed men and have decided to wield their own lipstick-152325_960_720war-paint too. Now they contract their makeup to professionals when going for a hot owambe. Cute guys, watch out! Cute rich guys, GOODNESS GRACIOUS, Double watch out! Ladies dating the cute and rich dudes, well, TRIPLE WATCH OUT! Heck, sleep with an eye open.

So if as a guy, you’re chilling/waiting for a fresh, bare-faced girl that you’ll take home to mama, you may have to wait till the rapture #justSaying. You know what they say about ‘moving with the times’ eh? That just might be applicable in this case.

Picture8

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR BBM CHANNEL: C002C66AB

WE BLOG THE TRUTH!

The (Unanimous) Quest

2016-03-25-1458942771-1871497-13ThingsThatWillMakeYouMuchHappierHP

Hola, mis queridos! 

This post has been a long while coming; cooling off in my draft for endless ages until I had a weird dream where I saw the post scowling at me and wagging a displeased finger in my face. I  sincerely apologize. I suddenly got way too busy and time practically spun madly but of course, no matter how busy I get, I’ll always squeeze out time to do what I love to do!

So I got to wondering what the key to happiness is. Sometime in the past, I would feel lost in the sea of people around me, and I start to think that I may only be naught but an insignificant speck, easily blown away! Countless research has been embarked upon and folks have tried to work out how to get rid of their feelings of lowliness.

Too many times, we forget that happiness is something we find ourselves. No one can make you smile if you’re not willing to put in an effort to stretch your lips. Yea, I coined that one.

I’ll tell you the story of a young lady.

Let’s call her Lila for the sake of this post. Lila was pretty. She had many things going on nicely for her. Her problem? She didn’t know how to be happy on her own. She always needed people around her to cheer her up, chat with her and stuff. Whenever she was all on her lonesome, she felt really and truly alone. She’d pick up her phone and scroll through her social networks to see if anyone had messaged her. Whenever she came up empty, she’d feel deserted. She’d hear voices telling her that she really was a sad, lonely soul. She hated the feeling. So Lila would pack a small bag and go visit a friend. Upon arriving at her friend’s place, she’d see a note pasted on the door ; ‘OUT’. And she’d feel betrayed. Her friends had boyfriends who made things fun for them. She had no one who cared enough. Her family was scattered across the universe, each of them too busy with their own lives to care about what Lila was up to.

Friendship-happiness-happy-happiness-11568954-264-239For all they know, I could be tightly strapped to an electric chair in Guatemala, she’d muse with sarcastic bitterness.

With a heavy sigh, Lila would open up her social networks and start posting randomly. Pictures, meaningless updates that sounded better in her head than they did on her profile/timeline. She needed someone to just remember that she existed and stick close by always.

Lila knew she was close to the edge of insanity. She didn’t understand why no one cared. She wore the latest trends, did the craziest hairstyles, her makeup was ever fleeked, yet no
one cared.

What does a person have to do to get some attention around here? She’d wonder to herself,pissed off at the whole world.

Lila didn’t understand the secret that I’m about to tell you.

She didn’t know that the key to her happiness had been locked tight in her own fist all along. She’d been too busy searching as far as Sokoto for what was in her own ‘sokoto’.

Friendship-happiness-happy-happiness-11568954-264-239Many times, we get underwhelmed, believing ourselves to be forgotten; lost in the sea of life’s goings on. We convince ourselves that our nearest and dearest have us wiped from their memories. We don’t realize that all our fears exist only in the battlefield of our mind. We are not aware that what we ought to do is to actually search within ourselves to ensure that we are really alright. From time to time, we need to do an interview with ourselves and ask; “Hey me, how are you? Are your priorities well set? And have you smelt the roses today?”

We forget that other people don’t literally have our names engraved deep into their hearts because they’ve actually got their own lives to live too. And until we learn to be happy on our own, we can’t ever know true happiness. GOD created us as individuals. If he thought we’d die without someone to make us smile, he’d probably make us all Siamese twins or something.

And even Siamese twins have separate personas. We don’t have the full awareness that it is actually healthy and advisable to withdraw to the background sometimes so we can do a self-evaluation. Not every time shining in the spotlight.

We ought to be strolling on the road with a skip in our step; not announcing to the world that yes indeed, we are pathetic by becoming Mr. Droopy with the eyes, nose and mouth
all headed south.

How to be happy on your own?

Sing a song! Or listen to one. Do something that makes you happy. Be silly by yourself.images Make funny faces in the mirror. Take yourself out and spoil yourself silly. Watch a comedy and laugh yourself to tears even when the jokes are as dry as crackers. Plug in your stereo, shut the doors and windows and dance
until your head starts to ache (meanwhile, I repeat, ensure that the doors and windows are shut so your crazy show doesn’t end up getting a billion hits on YouTube. I won’t be held liable for that).

abstract-flower-clip-art-6189002-abstract-image-there-are-flowers-butterflies-and-branchesTake a walk in the park and pause to literally smell the flowers, admire the birds and butterflies while meditating on the wonderful things or people in your life and the gifts that GOD has blessed you with.

eatingEat good food and splurge on ice cream or chocolates. And when you start feeling heavy due to over-feeding, plug in your favourite dancey song and dance like an overfed lunatic. What the heck? Who cares about YouTube? Give them a show worth recording!

Listen, you have this one chance at temporary life. You shouldn’t spend half of it worrying about why that cute boy/girl hasn’t texted you back or – why the odds don’t add up, definitely they must be cheating on you! So what? (Yea, you’re probably nursing a broken heart and it feels like you’re gonna die) You won’t die! Hey! There’re like 7 billion people in the world and you’re gonna let just one blip of a person get shareholder-deciding position on your happiness? Nawwww!

Friendship-happiness-happy-happiness-11568954-264-239Be happy all by yourself! Remember that because you have today, the hope of tomorrow is just brighter! And just ’cause one person or twenty people forgot you, so what? As long as you’re keeping tabs on you, and you’re aware of the ONE who’s up above keeping major tabs, I promise you, you can be very happy!

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR BBM CHANNEL: C002C66AB 

WE BLOG THE TRUTH!

FOR DEBBIE…

This is not what you all were expecting but…

Isn’t that how life is, really? Very few times do we ever get what we really expect. We hold on to hope and sometimes, even if we don’t ever let go of it, it seems as if, of its own volition, hope chooses to drift away from us, leaving us wondering where we went wrong…where we could have done better; wishing we could go back and undo our perceived mistakes.

Aren’t we just mortals? As temporary as a whisper of breeze; here one moment and gone the next…unexpectedly. Only few people have had the privilege of getting called into the hereafter when they expect it. And no matter how we look at it, our time here on earth will never be long enough. We’ll always see life as being too short.

Did I ever know a fighter? Yes, I did. I do. I know Debbie. She fought even when it didn’t look like she had anything left to fight for.

Why, about five days to her passing, I was sharing with Debbie, the story of my Church’s Easter Outreach Hospital visit to little children  and she said a prayer for me and for those kids. I asked her how she was faring, and her reply was,

“Trusting God for strength to go on tomorrow.”

IMG_20160402_101732-1

I pictured her then, tired out, holding on to her phone, typing those words to me. I could imagine that it wasn’t easy, having to be so courageous in the face of Cancer of the breast, liver and bone. But even till now, no matter how vivid my imagination is, I won’t ever know how much pain Debbie suffered. And she did suffer.

That’s why a part of me is glad that she has gone to rest. Even though I feel selfish right now, for wishing that she could be alive but wouldn’t that mean more pain? I did pray for Debbie, but now I wonder as I’m sure some of us are wondering, Could I have prayed more? Encouraged more? Would that have helped? But even that in itself is a measure of selfishness and pride. Because GOD does as HE pleases and wills, irrespective of man’s attempt at intervention. HE had the power to clean cancer out of Debbie, (and HE did for awhile) but HE chose not to, and I won’t question that choice.

I didn’t know all about Debbie and we weren’t the tightest buddies but I did know her. And I know that she is that mature lady who you can count on for a timely prayer, or timely advice. She’d put up pictures of herself in her hospital bed, dressed in hospital clothes with countless tubes attaching her to weird machinery and she’d be smiling. I don’t know how she did it, but she did. And I discovered later that she wasn’t doing it for the camera. She was doing that because it was who she was.

Now I hate it when people say “We lost Debbie to cancer.”

We didn’t lose Debbie to cancer. Cancer is a virus that eats at people. Viruses are of the Devil. Saying that we lost Debbie to cancer is implying that Debbie lost the fight to the Devil.

And cancer might have gotten to Debbie’s body and tried to break her, but it didn’t get to her spirit. She knew GOD, she trusted GOD. And that’s why I know that it wasn’t cancer that won the battle. GOD took Deborah home to have eternal respite from pain. Why HE did it despite our prayers, I don’t know. I don’t think any of us knows. And though I want to rail at GOD for ‘depriving’ us of another beautiful soul, there’s the comfort that Debbie and I will meet in GOD’s rest someday.

I thank GOD for the little time I had with Debbie.

DEBORAH, I learnt lessons from you that you were unaware of teaching me. I learnt to fight in adversity’s face, to smile in adversity’s face and to trust GOD through adversity.

I still love you Debbie.

Can you help us take a message to Ivie Awele? Tell her that we miss her too.

Your memory has no hope of leaving us. You really will remain forever in our hearts, Warrior that you are.

1 PETER 1:4-9

WOMAN WORTHY OF A KING: The Ideal Woman 9

IMG_0058edd-1-1Toyosi Odusanya, pardon me; Pharm. Toyosi Odusanya has been a good source of encouragement for me since I met him – a fine Christian, if I may say so myself. So I considered myself privileged when he freely offered to contribute to our series. I had no idea that Pharm. Toyosi was a closet Hemingway! I absolutely love his contribution. Be blessed!

2016-02-23 13.35.28

Hi guys, let me appreciate ‘aunty sophro’ for the opportunity to share these thoughts with us. Also I must say I like aunty sophro’s blog and I am glad I met her last year. She is a beautiful babe in and out. Okay enough drooling about her then…

Normally, I would have preferred to write on a king instead of a woman worthy of a king. Like culture and traditional Christianity that places the burden of home building on the women, I believe the man has the major role to play in home building but I will just follow the trend in this article.

Typically in a Christian setting, Proverbs 31 is gold. In this portion of the scriptures, King Lemuel attributes some qualities to his own idea of a noble woman, who we can call ‘a woman worthy of a king’.

King Lemuel starts by saying a woman worthy of a king is worth more than rubies. This describes the value of a woman worthy of a king. To be valuable, you must add value, to the life of your bobo, to your friends’ lives and to your family and even your neighbourhood, including total strangers. Do this and see your value increase like the dollar (lol) and more importantly than rubies too.

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing in value, meaning She is loyal, committed and can be trusted. This kind of woman is committed to the success of the relationship/marriage and not double minded or ‘wasting his time 2016’ (twitter people). This woman isn’t selfish and obsessed with herself, thus the statement “She brings him good all the days of her life”.

Verse 14-19 tells us of her resourcefulness and diligence. This involves importantly but not restricted to finance, it includes all spheres of life including parenting, purpose etc. She realises her relationship is real life and not on the streets of twitter where someone expects 5k dollars every month from her bobo. She understands what it means to support her boo, knows when to chip in, amd doesn’t place unnecessary demands on her boo. She doesn’t waste resources.

King Lemuel goes ahead to say she opens her arm to the poor and needy, and clothes her family. She is selfless to everyone, including strangers. A woman worthy of a king attracts more honour for her husband; she is strong and has qualities that make it easy to dignify her.

Lemuel finally testifies about the end of such woman: the king will praise her and her princes and princesses will call her blessed.

This epilogue ends with the assertion that charm is deceitful, and that what matters is her reverence for her God. So guys; beyond the blings, the padded bras, the short, tight skirts, the marykays, botox and silicon breasts et al, what matters more are the intrinsic qualities. So a King looks beyond the appearance and a queen pays more attention to the intrinsic, although not ignoring the external. One last thing which is most important is that a woman worthy of a king must be able to cook jollof rice and ewaagonyi (Oh God I miss my sister lol). byerraa!
InstaSize_0223132608-1

And there you go! Isn’t that a pretty wrap up for the ‘awesomest’ series ever?! I’m glad you agree. Thanks 😐 The jollof part though 😂

Thanks for following the topic WOMAN WORTHY OF A KING. Your comments and encouragements keep me revved up!

You know someone who could benefit from this? By all means, feel free to SHARE!

So on a wholly different note, I just wrapped up my 30-DAY ‘NO-COMPLAIN’ Challenge; and I’m aware that some of you know about it.

Hold tight! I’ll tell you all about it very soon. Heads up…it was a real CHALLENGING CHALLENGE! Watch out…Don’t blink, else you just might miss it…

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR BBM CHANNEL: C002C66AB 

WE BLOG THE TRUTH!